The other night I was watching the Lakers Championship ceremony right before their home opener, and I noticed something- I actually didn't hate the Lakers this year. Quickly, however, my motive became clear. I like any team that isn't the Miami Heat this year, and until that unholy trinity breaks up, it'll stay tht way.
I don't care that Bosh went to Miami- as a matter of fact, the fact that Bosh stated he wouldn't play as hard as a center, coupled with the fact that he's only an inch shy of seven feet, makes him look like a bigger pansy. No, in this situation, all of my hate goes towards LeBron. It wasn't the fact that he signed with a new team- it was the way he went about it. The Decision, the long months of waiting for an answer, and all of the "extravaganza" that engulfed the NBA for the entire summer was unnecessary, especially when you have a kid like Kevin Durant, who despite being a franchise player (and last season's scoring champion), silently tweeted his happiness over his extension with the Thunder.
LeBron leaving Cleveland is like having a great, faithful spouse who lacks one trait (fill in the blank yourself)....and leaving them because someone else promises they has an abundance of the missing trait, with no real evidence to back it up.
But before I get too riled up, let's keep in mind that LeBron has done this before. Lebron was a member of the "Fab 4", a group of friends who played basketball together since they were young. The boys were expected to go to Buchtel High School, an Akron public school who saw the players' arrival as a huge upgrade to their basketball team. However, one of the boys decided to attend the predominantly white St. Vincent St. Mary's High School, which messed with the foursome's plan to play basketball together for a little while longer. Eventually, the other three followed suit and went to St. V's. The black community was none too happy about it.
Let's not even get into Wade's acting career in making teams believe that they had a shot at him, when in actuality, he was deliberately wasting their time. He knew he was coming back to Miami regardless, and it was a ploy to hold other teams up in their free-agent chase. It was a calculated, classless move that I won't soon forget when the Heat are hanging their heads at the expense of the Chicago Bulls.
Usually, I don't like the Lakers. But if it takes them completing another three-peat for LeBron and the Heat to get their due, then I'll happily watch.
Oh, Count Chocula...how much longer must you be a Count before you get your due? Since 1971 when you got your promotion from Viscount (pronounced v-eye-count, not as a rhyme with discount) to Count, you seem to be in some sort of career purgatory. I think you deserve a promotion. I mean, how many boxes of Count Chocula cereal have you sold over the past 40 years? Thousands? Millions? Billions? The world will never know....
Why don't we figure out what's holding you back? I mean, you should have had what- at least three promotions by now, right? So here's what we should do- let's envision you with new titles...maybe that will motivate you to go for that promotion. In this world, Counts are kinda looked down upon. I mean, look at what happened to Jerry- he got complacent, and now he's stuck in that dead end job over on Sesame Street! Every time I go over there to visit, his breath reeks of vodka and herring; let's not even talk about the molestation rumors.
So, let's see what positions should be waiting down the pipe... Margrave Chocula- well, it doesn't sound great, but it's a transitional job, I guarantee you! A transition right into...Marquess Chocula? That whole level has got to be transitional- after you get past Marquess, you'll be....INFANTE CHOCULA? You sound like The Count's cocaine supplier!
Okay....Prince Chocula is next. That's pretty cool. You can dig that, right? NO?!?!? Why not? Oh....you know what? Screw your brother- just because he's King Chocula doesn't make you his bitch if you become Prince. You still get to have sex with lingerie models and ride around in fan- okay, we'll move on.
Alright, Duke Chocula. Sounds like you take 'roids and fist pump on the Jersey Shore. Grand Prince and Grand Duke sound like you belong to the KKK, so at least there's Archduke, right?
NO! NO! The only way you could become King Chocula is if you kill your brother...and we all know you don't have the balls or the stomach to do that. You know what? Keep peddling your cereal- you're probably better off that way. No....stop crying. He's crying now. Oh, come on. You know what? Let's go see Jerry. Maybe he has some more of those uppers you like so much.
Yep, I said it. The Count's real name is Jerry. Jerry Berman. You can quote me on that.
Ah, the pizza arcade. The hotbed for children!s birthday parties and broken dreams. When I was a kid, I was lucky enough to have birthday parties at two of the best pizza arcades I've ever been to. That, combined with my having been to a slew of birthday parties, I've had my fair share of battles with the games at these places. In a nutshell, these places are like kiddie casinos, with kids paying money to play games of random chance and skill, winning tickets that can be traded in for worthless prizes that eventually litter the bottom of your toy box. The goodie bags you got at these parties often had more valuable stuff in them.
I, along with thousands of kids, have racked up tons of tickets. In some cases, we've saved from birthday party to birthday party, hoping that we earn enough to buy whatever the top prize was. In my youth, there was a signed Michael Jordan poster that took 20,000 tickets to buy. Soon, these places began offering Xboxes and Playstations that not only would take you 2 years worth of your parents salary to get, but by the time you had enough tickets, the Playstation 4 would be nearing the end of its life cycle.
Basically, I've had a lot of broken dreams. Simply put, if these machines took over the world, they'd screw the children first. So today, I take a look back at the games which shaped and ultimately crushed my childhood dreams of winning a large, overstuffed Marvin the Martian replica:
1: Wheel 'M In
Despite the fact that this game paid out a bunch of tickets, I HATED it. Basically, you'd shoot a coin onto this conveyor belt. It would have to land EXACTLY on one of the colored ticket strips painted on the belt, or you'd win nothing. If your coin was just a little off, the machine wouldn't cut you any slack. To make things worse, the Uncle Pennybags-meets-creepy uncle at the top of the machine would taunt you and say something like "Missed it by that much!". What an arrogant bastard.
The company has come out with a new version of the machine to swindle a new generation of ticket hunters called Wheel 'M In Extreme. It's the same game play, which, in turn, probably induces the same punch-a-hole-in-the-glass feeling deep in my gut.
2: Colorama
Colormama was made by Bromley, the same company who produced Wheel 'M In, so you know there's some sort of scam going on here. Colorama was the most thinly veiled way to bring the roulette wheel to the pizza arcade. You'd put a coin in and bet on which colored section a small bouncy ball would land in. Each colored section was a different size; the smaller the section, the more tickets it would pay out if you bet on it and won. This is probably the fairest game on my list, but that's not saying much. On top of that, when the wheel would spin, the machine would break into poetic verse, spouting "Round and round and round it goes// Where it stops, Nobody knows!" Actually, yeah, you do. You know goddamn well where it stops. Because you're a fucking machine with a twisted computer brain."
3: Progressive Skee Ball
Now don't get me wrong- I love Skee Ball- it's one of my favorite games in the arcade to this day and will probably be the first thing I buy for my future rumpus room (I just wanted to say rumpus room)! But Progressive Skee Ball is a bastard. The premise is that there's a bank of Skee Ball machines, all connected to this one ticket jackpot. To win the jackpot, you have to hit a really high target score (which is usually damn near a perfect game). Every few unsuccessful jackpot attempts raises the jackpot until someone hits it or the arcade shuts down for the day, at which point the jackpot resets to a paltry 200 tickets, or something like that. If this system sounds familiar, it is- it's the same one that casinos use for slot jackpots.
4: Cyclone Alright, now everyone has played this game before. I've dropped more coin in this machine than most people ever will, and I'll tell you what- I have NEVER won the jackpot. NEVER. You see those two arches right in front of that button? The object is to stop a rotating light (seen here near the pink arches) in between your arches by hitting your button.
I hate this game. With a passion. I used to mindlessly drop tokens in this one just hoping to win. Then, once I began to see how rigged this game was, I dropped more tokens in, eventually hoping to win just to spite the machine. Yes, I said it- to spite a MACHINE. If Wheel 'M In didn't make me crazy, this game did.
5: Coin Pushers
Every pizza arcade had them, but nobody ever quite understands how they work. I'll tell you- shitty. That's how they work. You basically drop coins down a Plinko-like wall, and they work their way across a pusher. In essence, you're hoping your coin is the one that causes some of those coins on the edge to fall off. You win those coins that fall off (and in the case of cheaper arcades, you get a couple tickets for each coin instead. Unfortunately, no matter the theme of the machine- whether it's outer space themed, music themed, or even Price is Right themed (yep, there's one of those), you never win a goddamned thing. Only one of every 60 million people has lived to tell their happy ending with these gold coin stealing whores.
6: Any Kiddie Machines
Technically, all of the machines on my list are kiddie machines, but I mean the ones that are for the kids who are too young to ever know what they hell they're doing. The smaller basketball machines with a 2 foot hoop, the Bozo Buckets machine, and a couple others fit this category. If you were 10 or 11, you thought you found a way to cheat these machines- you'd rack your score up to like 58,000 and you got rewarded with a paltry 7 tickets, since that's the ceiling that the operators set for it. Dejected, you went back to playing big kid machines, since the effort definitely wasn't worth the reward.
So, after winning Army men with faulty parachutes, half opened Warhead candies, the occasional Whoopie Cushion, and a few temporary tattoos, I can't say I didn't have a good time. But I would have been a lot happier with a bunch of stuff that ultimately, would have been cheaper had I bought it at retail price.
A former executive at what cell phone company recently said that manufacturers who use Android are like Finnish boys who "pee in their pants" for warmth in the winter?
A museum in what city recently held a contest whose winner would get to live at the museum for an entire month?
What product's commercials, featuring people who solved problems like broken heels and wet paint on suits, always ended with the line "The Freshmaker"?
What Constitutional amendment gives you the right to a speedy trial?
IT'S TIME FOR AN EXTRA HALLOWEEN CANDY BONUS!!!!!!!!!!
According to a recent study by USA Today, parents eat what percent of their children's Halloween candy? (It's not an off kilter number, like 13 or 81.)
In the General Mills Monster Cereal line, Count Chocula is the most popular of the three remaining ghouls, Name his two cohorts who usually have their own cereals during the Halloween season.
In the Halloween film series, Michael Myers' mask is molded in the shape of what celebrity?
ANSWERS
1. Nokia
2. Chicago
3. Mentos
4. 6th Amendment
5. 50%
6. Boo Berry and Frankenberry
7. William Shatner
Friends is to Central Perk as How I Met Your Mother is to where?
What man replaced Gordon Brown as UK Prime Minister in May 2010?
What team won their last NBA championship in 1971, despite having 25 playoff appearances in the 39 years since?
Name the word by it's definitions- a. history of reports or past events; b. score, grounds; c. a contractual relationship of brokerage or other business services
What cheerleading company, which has nearly 30 subsidiaries, has recently been criticized for a number of conflict of interest offenses?
Think you can beat the pants off our current players? Have a crack at it HERE!
A quick note: My blog is on track to reach 1000 views by the end of the month. Unlike other bloggers who may see 1000 as a paltry number, I'm pretty excited to reach this milestone. So thanks to all of the Americans, Russians Latvians, Turks, Germans, Canadians, Chinese, British, Maltans, and Slovenians who have taken time out to read all of the not-so-important things that this knucklehead has to say. I hope you'll all keep reading, and let's see if we can't reach the 3000 view mark by the end of 2010! Again..thanks.
I just got a call from a student hoping to make it in the television industry- she was referred to me by my college professor and mentor, Bob Walker. She seems to be a good student, but as a professional trying to gain contacts, she needs work. But then again, when you're a sophomore in college, professionalism isn't exactly high up on your to-do list. So here's a few quick tips to help you out.
1. Learn to talk to people!
Talking to people is a game in and of itself. People who constantly Facebook and text tend to be lacking in real time face to face conversational situations. The best way for you to get better at it is by talking to as many people as possible- starting conversations with random people in places like an elevator is great practice. Say something about the book in their hand, their outfit, their cell phone....anything! Whatever you feel most comfortable talking about, strike up that conversation!
2. When asking a new contact for something, be specific!
Bright, young, chipper new interns get referred to certain contacts on a daily basis; it's not uncommon for someone to get emails from 40-50 new interns a day. Because you never know how many interns your new contact is speaking with, you need to set yourself apart. Simply stating "I need an internship" isn't going to cut it. Be specific in what you want, and make yourself memorable. I don't care if your dream is something as crazy as wanting to have a TV show about pepperoni pizza- you can either be Doug, the guy who wants his own pepperoni pizza show, or you can be Doug Who?- it's all up to you!
3. Do not inform a new contact that you can be texted at this number.
Ah, texting- the wave of the future. Teenagers who send thousands of texts a month are now becoming college students who send thousands of texts a month. Even social media marketing firms have phones for calling people. In 20 years, everybody from the age of 45 downward will be proficient at texting. Those people on the older end of that spectrum will be the ones running businesses, but until we get to that point, calling is the only way to go for the older generation. When you tell a new contact that you can be texted, it makes you look like you don't have enough social skills to get up and call someone.
4. Clean up your Facebook page.
This one is the most common one to address. Making your profile public means that just about everybody can see your pictures, comments, and whatever else, good or bad. Either set your profile to private or untag yourself from photos that show you in less than a positive light. The more you permanently get rid of, the better. If possible, only use a Linkedin account when asked for a website.
That's all I've got for now. What tips do you have?
Yesterday, Steve Jobs donned his now-notorious black-mock turtleneck and light blue jeans, and took to the stage to show us what new and exciting products Apple was working on. I'm not sure what sort of reaction he was looking for, but I know that I was sorely disappointed.
Now Apple's not going to reveal some new OMG I GOTTA HAVE gadget every time Steve-O calls for another presentation. But the coup-de-grace, the newly redesigned Macbook Air, left a lot to be desired.
Let's go back to the beginning of the press conference and look at the other developments that Apple revealed. First, iLife '11 was shown. The new interface for iPhoto borrows heavily from the iPad's slick, near perfect Photos app. iMovie made a bunch of advances in making the product more user-friendly (as Apple has been known to do), as did Garage Band. For me, it was a push.
About a month ago, a German iLife '11 how-to manual was released on Amazon Germany, and the cover said that the book was to cover the basics for iLife on Macs, iPhones, and iPads. This suggestion made me excited at the fact that Apple would release a port for iPad. Imagine the photo, video, and music editing possibilities! Unfortunately, this did not come to be, as iLife '11 seems to only be for Mac. Fitting so much into a lesser powered machine with limited screen space and a touch screen is a daunting task, and it would require a totally separate design if Apple were ever to do that. Oh well, I'll just anxiously await iPad iOS4.
The second item on yesterday's docket was OSX 10.7, called Lion. The big change? Mac seems to be promoting this happy marriage between OSX and iOS. Lion will support many more multitouch gestures, a more iPad-like interface, and get this- an App Store. Anybody who thought that the two operating systems weren't going to touch each other's space is crazy. But this is a great step for Macs- before, you either had to go to an Apple Store or drown in a computer store's software supply to find Mac-compatible software. Now you can find a whole lot of it in one centralized place. Hopefully Apple sees this, and will offer a breadth of serious software, and not just ports of iOS games.
Mission Control, one of the new features of OSX Lion, allows you to see every open program on your computer at the same time. It's like an enhanced version of Alt+Tab.
Now, on to the main event, the Macbook Air. I wasn't too excited for it, because I had a feeling that the only real changes were coming on the stat front, and I was partly right. It IS lighter and thinner than the first generation Air, with Apple finding a way to turn the device from anorexic to Ethiopian. I didn't care very much to hear the stats, as my $700 laptop's stats are double that of the Air's.
Then Steve Jobs said something that caught my attention: Instant On. Thanks to having solely flash memory onboard the device, turning it on would be no different than turning on your iDevice. It would be instant, with no more than a 10 second startup time if you were doing a completely off to on boot. Suddenly, Steve-O had me again. It was time for him to strike with a statement that would make me long for a Macbook Air.
Then, he said "We're going to competitively price the new Macbook Air". Mind you, the last time he mentioned competitive pricing, the iPad went from rumors of being priced at $1000+ to actually be priced at $500. With that statement, my guess was that the Macbook Air would start somewhere between $600 and $800. I was ready with my pen and paper to find a way to justify a new purchase.
It's so thin, you could probably attach it to a handle and use it as an ax in the winter to chop some firewood.
$999. Let me say that again. $999.
Huh? Didn't he just say he wanted to COMPETITIVELY price the Macbook Air?
Granted, it is aluminum, and it is thin, and it is light, and it is pretty. But for $999, I can buy a white-base Macbook that has a larger hard drive, is just as portable, and can run OSX Lion just as well. Oh, and just in case I NEED to use a CD drive, it's there. CDs aren't THAT extinct yet. Their lifeline is slowly flattening, but CDs will be around and important for the next 10 years. It's still an Apple computer, just without a solid aluminum frame. Like mother always said, it's what's on the inside that counts.
So...basically...with only 64 GB onboard, no expandable memory, and no CD drive, the Macbook Air is still an overpriced netbook. Bummer.
So ends another Apple press conference. If you've got a Mac already, I think iLife '11 would be a great purchase if you're an editing aficionado, and the verdict is still out on Lion.
I've said it before and I'll say it again- if Apple wants to compete with Microsoft with a shot at taking out the competition, they need to competitively price their computers. If the Macbook line was priced from $600-$1500, people would be jumping over each other to buy Macbooks. With a $52 billion in cash just laying around, Apple has the means to price their computers at a point where they only make a tiny profit.
There's one game that I've been wanting to buy for a while: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. It's a River City Ransom-esque game where, as Scott Pilgrim, you work your way through the evil exes of your love interest, Ramona Flowers. It's gotten great reviews, and it's got online multiplayer, which is always a big plus for games like this. But what caught my eye most on IGN was this part of the review, where they discussed the music:
"All of this goes down while listening to a brand-spanking new soundtrack from chiptune band Anamanaguchi. The music alone is worth the price -- seriously, this has got to be one of the best game soundtracks I've ever heard. It fits so perfectly, but stands strong on its own. You'll love it. And if you don't, frankly, you don't deserve this game."
Now I'm a BIG fan of chiptune music. I'm also a big fan of quality video game music. Apparently the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but a well placed chiptune mixtape will suffice in my case. I love the music from the Megaman series and just about any soundtrack from the Super NES catalog (Pilotwings, anyone?). Anyways, what this means is that I had to check out the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack, even if I didn't buy the game.
Anamanaguchi, by the way, is a chiptune band. You hear normal rock band instruments in their arrangements, but the lead is almost always in 8 bit. To say the least, I wasn't disappointed at all.
The music sounds like it comes straight out of some NES/Super NES hybrid, which is a great thing. Boss themes are hard and driving, and most stage music is peppy and theme-appropriate. After a few listens, it became my favorite soundtrack in my music library. Because there's no lyrics, I use it as a study and workout aide- there's always a song in there to keep me going. By the way, if you haven't checked out the Anamanaguchi catalog, I suggest you do. They have a lot of great stuff.
Top 5 Songs on the Album:
2. Another Winter
8. Cheap Shop
11. Bollywood
19. Party Stronger
23. Just Like In The Movies
Before Monday's New York Governor debates, nobody knew the name Jimmy McMillan. After the debates, it was clear that he was the star that night. McMilla, who represents the Rent is Too Damn High Party, may not have been the most well-versed of the seven candidates, but he was definitely the most entertaining- not to mention that he gained a lot of supporters since, well, the rent IS too damn high. This is especially true in New York, where a one bedroom rat-trap will cost you about $68 billion a month. And no, we're not talking about Zimbabwean dollars. Take a look-see at some of Mr. McMillan's finer points from Monday night.
EDIT: And here he is on the Sean Hannity Show just a week later:
We have a clear winner here, people. Someone get me to New York state, so I can claim citizenship there and vote for this man. He is the most entertaining politician I have EVER seen. He's going to be this generation's Mr. T- an angry black man who is more entertaining than all of TV put together, except no mohawk and gaudy jewelry. But man, does he have one bitchin' mustache. Apparently after the debate, he got 40,000 campaign donations. Well played, sir. Well played.
I woke up this morning checking my personalized news feed on Flipboard, as I do every morning. But today was different. I woke up to find two music videos waiting on me. I normally don't watch music videos, but I was blown away and pretty damn amused with both. The kicker? The combined age of the two artists is 16 YEARS OLD.
Enough with the jabbering, let's roll the clips!
Willow Smith, Whip My Hair
If there ever was a time where children took full advantage of nepotism and made something of themselves, it's the Smith kids. Jaden was in the Karate Kid remake last year, and Willow comes on to the scene with a catchy, energetic number that's bound to inspire a few new dances and get some serious airplay in clubs she's waaaaay too young to even get into!
She's got the "it" factor, and she's only 9. Jay Z signed her to his label, and after talking to her, believes she has the drive and creativity of a young Michael Jackson. It may be a little early to make such a bold prediction, but if this is just the beginning, more people will be making that comparison before we know it.
Lil P-Nut, You Might Be The One
This one doesn't have the "OMG this blew me away" factor that a lot of people will have when they see the Willow Smith video, but it's got an "awww, that's cute" factor to it. He's only 7, so there's only so many things he can rap about- bubble gum, dating an "older" girl (she's in the 3rd grade, he's in the 2nd), and reminds us of a time when relationships were simple and thrived on the promise of candy and a couple pushes on the playground swingset. But then again, I'd rather have him rap about this than the rhymes of a rapper three or four times his age. Still it's cute, and you can't believe he raps like this at seven.
The NHL has gained a legitimate head of steam since the 2004-05 lockout season, but has really been charging over the past two years. High scoring games, great matchups, and other integral improvements have quickly transformed the NHL into a mainstream league. It's amazing to think that a league that lost $200 million nearly two decades ago just turned a $180 million profit this past season.
How can you not love the NHL? The games are exciting to watch, the fans are as raucous as the Raider Nation, there's excessive fighting, and awesome goal celebrations. Basically it offers all the things that the NFL does at a fraction of the price.
This past season, the NHL really gained notice with the influx of stars who played for their home countries in the Olympics. With 27.6 million viewers, the gold medal game between the US and Canada was the most watched hockey game in the US since the 1980 gold medal game at the Lake Placid Olympics, just two days after the United States defeated the Soviet Union in the "Miracle On Ice" game.
Another recent addition in the NHL is the Winter Classic. On New Year's Day, two teams play a regulation game outdoors. Of course, that limits the game to the Midwest, Northeast, and Canada, but the game not only draws some of the NHL's highest ratings each year, but they also sell out stadiums and baseball fields that seat more than 40000 people. I wanted to go to the 2009 game between the Red Wings and Blackhawks, but tickets cost upwards of $200...and that was all the way up top in the not-so nosebleeds.
The Friendly Confines hosted the 2009 Winter Classic, one of the highest rated games of the 2008-09 NHL season.
What all this sums up to is a league that is on the rise- a league that could be a serious challenger to the MLB and NBA, two leagues that are on a downward path (actually, the NBA may make up ground in the Miami Heat, but we'll see.)
Anyways, the NHL has a great new marketing campaign called Questions Will Become Answers. Each one features a player working out while radio commentators ask the questions that each team's fans have been asking in the offseason, with every ad concluding with the most biting question of the bunch and the words "Questions Will Become Answers".
The NHL is rolling out a team-specific ad for every club, but for now, there are 5 player-specific ads featuring Jonathan Toews (Blackhawks), Sidney Crosby (Penguins), Alexander Ovechkin (Capitals), Ryan Miller (Sabres), and Mike Cammalleri (Canadiens). NHL's ad department did an AWESOME job with these ads, and I appreciate the fact that the players are all working out padless- it's a nice change from having them skating on a dark rink one on one against a goalie. Check out the ads below- if they don't make you want to go out and buy season tickets, nothing will.
If you've been reading this blog, you've learned a lot about me thus far. Here's something else you may not know about me; I am a HUGE fan of jingles, especially those written in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I'm also a fan of theme parks. So it comes as no surprise that I am a big fan of Great America's commercials from the late 70s-mid 80s.
Business Bite: Six Flags Great America was once half of a twin set; back in 1976, Marriott, the hotel chain, decided to construct a theme park franchise, starting with three locations- Santa Clara California, Gurnee Illinois, and Washington DC. Santa Clara and Gurnee were built, but Washington D.C. was not.
By 1984, the Gurnee park had been sold to the Six Flags park chain, who still owns it to this day; the Santa Clara park went through messy negotiations with a proposed sale of the park to the city itself. It. was finally sold to Kings Entertainment, which would eventually be engulfed by Paramount Parks. Now, it is owned by Cedar Fair, the company who owns the famous Cedar Point theme park.
Enough history. Check out the videos, more so for the jingles, but the video as whole brings them together. This is pure 70s/80s cheese, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Commercials have gotten into such a habit of using music from established artists that it seems that the art of the jingle is lost on marketing execs nowadays. I still think that a well placed jingle beats out any Billboard 100 hit inserted in a commercial.
Well, it looks like it's finally happening. After 4 years of speculation as to what cell phone carrier would be the next to hit the iPhone jackpot, we finally have a winner. Verizon, often seen as the front runner in the iPhone sweepstakes, will be the newest carrier to sell the universally praised smartphone. Let's see what this means for other carriers:
First, let's take a look at the winner. Verizon, already seen as the best carrier as far as price and coverage, now gains a HUGE weapon in its already impressive arsenal. Carrying both the Motorola Droid and the iPhone will be the combination that puts Verizon ahead of AT&T in the cell phone wars.
For AT&T, this is a huge blow. For 4 years, they've had the iPhone contract to themselves, and now their biggest rival, and possibly the only company with potential to knock them off the top of the mountain, carries the phone. AT&T hasn't prepared well for this moment, either. Their Android selection is lacking, and they haven't put very much energy into the rest of their phone lineup. It's as if the iPhone made AT&T more complacent. Seriously, have you seen their other phones? They're kid/bumbling parent friendly, sure, but the small section of the business market that AT&T currently has gets smaller. It wasn't a smart move at all, especially considering that analysts have been speculating since day one about which company would get the mighty iPhone next. AT&T also has an abusive relationship with many of their customers. Although many want to leave due to AT&T's superglue-like contracts with high cancellation fees, spotty coverage, terrible customer service, and overpriced plans, many customers can't because that means they'd have to get rid of their prized iPhones. I originally thought this would mean that customers would be more apt to bite the cancellation fee in order to transfer networks while taking their iPhones with them, but differences in signal frequencies and how each company translates data means that switching to Verizon requires that you buy a brand new iPhone. I'll keep you posted on any changes.
What this change means for other two major carriers, T-Mobile, and Sprint, is that they need to stick to their guns and stick it hard. Sprint has been broadcasting their 4G network for the past 6 months; they need to stick with that angle until other carriers begin to dabble in 4G. T-Mobile, on the pother hand, has been listed by some analysts as the first of the big 4 cell phone companies to die. What they need to do is start advertising their wide array of smartphones. Whether it be Android-based, Garmin, Motorola, or their trusty Sidekick (which badly needs a revamp and low low price point for the social media savvy), they have the biggest smartphone selection of all of the major carriers as well as a VERY affordable, flexible price point; they need to make sure that swing customers know that.
Anyways, that's all. I'll keep following this story as it unfolds, and we'll see how the iPhone shakes up the cell phone world once again.
I loved The Blind Side. It was a great true story that translated so well as a movie, and a lot of that had to do with its dialog. It was snippy, quick, touching, poignant, and even funny. I laugh a lot at most movies, as my genre of choice is comedy, but this movie had one of the best laugh-out-loud lines that I've ever heard. It's good enough to even make my top 10.
Let me set this up for you: Michael Oher, the main character of this story, has joined the Tuohy family. That Christmas, the "conventional" Tuohys are taking a family Christmas photo when Leigh Anne, the matriarch, decides to bring Michael into the picture. Regardless of the fact that the rest of the family is dressed in a matching color scheme, and Michael, already out of place being both black and lineman-sized, is wearing an off-color scheme polo, this is the photo they send with their Christmas cards:
After the cards go out, the Tuohys get a voice message from their cousin Bobby that goes like this:
"This is Bobby, Happy New Years. Listen, I've had about five cold ones and, uh, I'm just going to go ahead and ask -- did you all know there's a....colored boy on your Christmas card?"
I could not stop laughing. There's only so many things you could say when being in a white Southern family and getting a Christmas card like that, and Cousin Bobby probably said the funniest thing possible. If you think you've got a better line for that situation, email me at jeremynelson1987@gmail.com or post in the Comments section!
Today, I will begin a new series here on this blog which discovers what became of history's most prized relics. So it should come as no surprise that my first entry in this series is THE mall mainstay- Orange Julius.
A vacant Orange Julius still carrying the sea green, bronze, and white color scheme which made it a 1980s mainstay.
Founded in 1926 by Julius Freed, an Orange Julius is a frothy orange drink which includes oranges, milk, sugar, and ice cubes. Freed's broker came up with the long-standing recipe, as the original recipe was too acidic and upset his stomach. After introducing the new recipe, people started asking for the "Orange Julius", and the company's profits increased fivefold. In 1964, the Orange Julius was even named the official drink of the 1964 New York World's Fair.
The 1970s would make Orange Julius a staple in malls across the country, and it would stay that way for the next 30 years or so. Your mall wasn't complete unless you had an Orange Julius.
But sometime in the 2000s, The Julius started disappearing in malls, eventually just "dying off" for a short time. What happened?
Well, back in 1987, Dairy Queen purchased the Orange Julius franchise, eventually adding DQ menu items to most freestanding Orange Julius stands. Now, you can find Orange Julius menu items at most Dairy Queens, some even carrying the OJ moniker. The brand has also been selling a premium line of smoothies since 2004 as to compete with the likes of Smoothie King and Jamba Juice.
A DQ / Orange Julius mashup seen here; the malls may be devoid of Orange Julius, but its spirit lives on here.
Got an relic of old that you'd like for me to unearth? Send your request to jeremynelson1987@gmail.com, or post in the comment box!
Oh Gerard Butler, what has happened to thou? You starred in what many consider to be the movie that best encompasses badassery, 300, and I don't know what's happened to you since. But maybe, just maybe, there was nothing more you could have done. Let's explore this further:
This is not the face of a man who'd knowingly agree to be in chick flicks.....
When the Chicago Bulls completed their first three-peat in 1993, and Michael Jordan announced his retirement, many knew it wouldn't become a four-peat, but the Bulls still posted a VERY respectable 55 wins on the back of emerging superstar Scottie Pippen. An inevitable blow was softened. When the Bulls completed their second three peat, the doubters were right again, but this time, the 1999 Bulls only won 19 games (granted, it was a 50 game season), but it was a harder blow in 1999 than it was in 1994.
Here's how this applies to our friend Gerard Butler: we KNEW that there was no way that a movie could be more badass than 300, yet we were all still disappointed with his choice of movies afterwards. As men, we wanted him to keep making kickass movies, whether in Greece, hanging from a helicopter that's on fire, or hanging from a helicopter on fire...in Greece. But he made chick flicks like The Ugly Truth, P.S. I Love You, and Nim's Island....okay, so maybe the last one isn't classified as a chick flick, but it's close enough because guys wouldn't want to see that movie. I guess you could say that he did those movies to get paid to fool around with the likes of Katherine Heigl, Hilary Swank, and Jodie Foster (okay, so maybe not the last two), but that's like Michael Jordan playing baseball because it paid, and it made him happy as an athlete. Oh wait.....
...but this is.
Your attempts at badassery as of late have been halfhearted, at best. It's not your fault- the movie plotlines were weak. Gamer, Law Abiding Citizen, and The Bounty Hunter weren't great. They were tolerable, but not great.
Gerard Butler, 300 has given you lifetime posession of your man card. None of your movies will ever surpass your role as King Leonidas, so what you need to do is either beg for a 300 prequel, pray that it gets a cartoon iteration with you voicing the mighty King, or start doing chick flicks with hotter, single, young women. Since it's you, they don't even have to be single! You could do to some hot girl's relationship what Angelina did to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's relationship when she did Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Get on it, sir. Time is running out.
Let's get in a time machine and go back to June 2009. I was fresh out of college with no job, no plans, and no idea what I was going to do. So in the meantime, I decided to do what I did best-- ask questions.
I went to my Facebook profile and posted a trivia question. Not even 10 minutes later, I had 8 replies. After a day where I asked 11 or 12 questions and kept a running score, I noticed that people liked answering my questions on Facebook. Why? Because it makes them look smart in an open forum. Soon after, I saw that two of my buddies from quiz bowl, Kevin Render and Ivory Johnson, both started doing the same thing. I wasn't mad- I was happy that more of us were getting in the spirit since they, like me, had nothing better to do that summer. After carrying this on for about 2 weeks, Ivory came up with the idea that the three of us come together and form a group dedicated to this. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how we formed...wait for it...
THE THREE TOWERS OF TRIVIA!
But wait...it wasn't called that just yet.
We got a lot of our fellow HCASC (That's Honda Campus All Star Challenge, for the record) alums and off season players to join and play the game. It was rough at first, because we had our fair share of cheaters in that first run. But we made it through quite successfully, considering the small operation that we were running.
During our first season, we decided to award bonus points to whoever came up with the best name for our group. We eventually narrowed it down to three choices: Mind Bogglers, The Three Towers of Trivia, and Hey Motherfucker? Guess What I Know!, with the last one nearly becoming our permanent name. In retrospect, it might have worked just as well.
Now, the three of us our back in school and/or working, so our schedules aren't as flexible as they used to be. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, but the ups have far outweighed the downs, and I know I wouldn't trade this for any other experience.We've asked nearly 900 questions, with out 1000th coming sometime this year, and we started our third season this week. I couldn't be much happier than that. If you want to play, join our Facebook group HERE, and you'll receive questions 3 days a week. If you have suggestions, questions, comments, or concerns, post to our wall! In the meantime, happy playing, and no quizjacking!
This past week, Gap unveiled a new logo to express their look toward the future. Needless to say, it's terrible. Take a look:
The blue box seems to have been put in the wash and shrunk in the process....like Gap Jeans.
This logo is, like I said, terrible. TER-RIB-LAY. Here's why. The font in this new logo is Helvetica, which has been voted both the easiest-to-read font as well as one of the most dull. It's uninspired, and the blue box in the corner makes it look like the ad agency hired a 13 year old to design it. Wait...13 year olds would be more creative than this. They would have been better going back to their original logo:
After seeing this new logo monstrosity, I then began to realize that this logo looked familiar....too familiar...it looked like another clothing store's logo which was just as uninspired and terrible as this one. After about 5 minutes of searching, I found it:
American Apparel's logo is just like Gap's.... except there's no blue square. Anybody looking in from the outside would assume that one company owned the other. I was then even angrier with Gap, because they got rid of a logo which which they were closely identified.
Brand identification is a tough thing to mess with; changing a familiar piece of a company's identity can turn its fans away, so the change must be subtle, gradual, and non-threatening. In 2009, Tropicana redesigned their orange juice cartons to look more modern, but the change didn't go over well at all. Think about that for a second; AN ORANGE. JUICE. CARTON. Not a logo, but the carton. People identify with what is safe and what is familiar.
When Drew Carey took over as host of The Price is Right in 2007, his first stayed true to Barker's well-oiled operation; other than a refresh of the theme songs and changing the colors of the set, everything from the models to the music cues stayed the same. Now in its 4th season, Barker's last season and Carey's 4th are like night and day; most of the Barker era music cues, as well as a few pricing games have been retired, with new ones taking their place. The show has lifted its Barker-mandated ban on foreign cars, they held a model search last season, and the show has traveled across the country to find contestants who normally couldn't afford the money or time to make it out to Los Angeles. Many of these changes were in the works once Drew took over, but were made gradually as to not lose their loyal fanbase. Ratings are starting to climb again, and The Price is Right is still a crown jewel in the CBS Daytime lineup.
Hey- people know what they want. All companies have to do is listen to the people.
EDIT: On October 11, Gap announced that they are going back to the familiar blue square logo after a massive public outcry. See what I mean?
My friends Kevin Render, Ivory Johnson, and I started a trivia group on Facebook a year ago (July 1, 2009 to be exact). We called it The Three Towers of Trivia, and we've asked our followers nearly 900 trivia questions as of today. Today is the start of our 3rd season, and I've decided to post my round's questions here, just to get my blog followers to come join our group. Check out this week's questions, and see if you can match wits with our current players!
1. A polyglot is one who excels at what?
2. Top sellers of Mary Kay in the USA are awarded a pink Cadillac. In the UK, top sellers earn what brand of car founded in 1881, making it the oldest automobile brand still in existence?
3. What cop show's producers changed the show's name to McGarrett in 1980, a change they deemed necessary for the show to be successful in the syndication market?
4. In September 2010, Roger Craig, a graduate student from the University of Delaware, broke what television record that stood for more than 6 years?
5. A recent study for the Gallup Healthways Well Being Index shows that, although leveling off at $75,000, increases in salary negate what often stated belief?
ANSWERS:
1. Foreign Languages
2. Mercedes Benz
3. Hawaii Five O
4. Largest One Day Winnings on Jeopardy!
5. Money Can't Buy Happiness
One thing that Nolan Bushnell seems to have always had is foresight. His biggest strength is that he's been able to use that foresight to anticipate what people want; thus, his founding of two (still active) forefathers in their respective industries. So when Bushnell announced in 2005 that he was opening a new line of restaurants with a technology twist, I was instantly sold based off his track record.
Some of you who read this blog may not know who Nolan Bushnell is, and rightfully so; he hasn't made any HUGE splashes in the news lately. Let me fill you in. Nolan Bushnell is the co-founder and former CEO of Atari, one of the founding fathers of the video game industry. In 1977, while still at Atari, Bushnell bought Pizza Time Theatre from Warner Communications (although it had been created by Bushnell). He made the purchase so that Atari would have a place to showcase its best games, as well as its newest models not released anywhere else.
Pizza Time Theater would then go on to become Chuck E. Cheese, the father of the pizza arcade format.
uWink, the eventual name for the chain, was a great concept on paper. It was to have a fully interactuive touchscreen at each table, which acted as a menu where customers could place their orders, customizing them down to the last little detail. The orders, of course would be sent to the kitchen and delivered by attendants. When not in use as a menu, the touchscreen would be used to access a bunch of different games that the table could play while waiting for drinks and/or their food.
Now there's a twist here that makes the technology even cooler. If you wanted to buy a round of drinks for, oh, say, the cute girl and her cute friends at Table 12, you could do that through your screen, sending a note in the process. Same goes for playing games. You could strike up a Table Vs.Table game from your screen to get conversation going with another group of perfect strangers. If you were a techie who had problems talking to girls, this was your godsend. Your time to shine. Your mecca. Your mancave. You get the idea by now.
By the time uWink opened its first restaurant in October of 2006, Facebook had caught fire. People were already using technology to meet new people and strike up new conversations and relationships. This either could have been very good for uWink or a backbreaker out of the starting gate.
Out of the gate, it seemed that the company was getting great publicity and a strong showing in the profit column. They even opened two more restaurants in California, with plans to open franchises in Las Vegas, Canada, and Florida. Unfortunately, even Nolan Bushnell couldn't predict the financial meltdown that was to come in the United States. Well, maybe he did, and that's why the new franchises didn't open- I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Even with the recession, it seemed that the restaurant/technology concept was becoming a novelty; Facebook was the hands down king of people-connecting, and it seemed that Bushnell's ideas were antiquated. Bushnell's industries were all about really connecting two people who had never met each other, but were in the same room (i.e. a 4 player co-op video game or the uWink concept), but people seemed happier just connecting to others through the internet. Although Bushnell had a great concept, it seemed that it just may fail and it did; uWink closed all of their restaurants on September 13th.
But as one door closes, another opens; uWink is still selling their restaurant software under the name Tapcode, but they won't be opening any new restaurants. Although he'll be busy with the new venture, I fully believe that Nolan Bushnell is still thinking, stil contemplating, in the back of his mind, about what his next big move will be.
I just found this out today, but Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, is also called Pancake Day in parts of Asia and Europe. This comes from an old Chirstian tradition where staples given up for Lent were used beforehand to make pancakes.
This picture is from what seems to be some sort of Shrove Tuesday Pancake Run. I must be a part of this one day.
There ya go- a post about pancakes and trivia. Some say it couldn't be done, but here I am, busting my ass to find the information that YOU want to know. You're welcome.
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