Gerard Butler...oh no.

Oh Gerard Butler, what has happened to thou? You starred in what many consider to be the movie that best encompasses badassery, 300, and I don't know what's happened to you since. But maybe, just maybe, there was nothing more you could have done. Let's explore this further:

This is not the face of a man who'd knowingly agree to be in chick flicks.....

When the Chicago Bulls completed their first three-peat in 1993, and Michael Jordan announced his retirement, many knew it wouldn't become a four-peat, but the Bulls still posted a VERY respectable 55 wins on the back of emerging superstar Scottie Pippen. An inevitable blow was softened. When the Bulls completed their second three peat, the doubters were right again, but this time, the 1999 Bulls only won 19 games (granted, it was a 50 game season), but it was a harder blow in 1999 than it was in 1994.

Here's how this applies to our friend Gerard Butler: we KNEW that there was no way that a movie could be more badass than 300, yet we were all still disappointed with his choice of movies afterwards. As men, we wanted him to keep making kickass movies, whether in Greece, hanging from a helicopter that's on fire, or hanging from a helicopter on fire...in Greece. But he made chick flicks like The Ugly Truth, P.S. I Love You, and Nim's Island....okay, so maybe the last one isn't classified as a chick flick, but it's close enough because guys wouldn't want to see that movie. I guess you could say that he did those movies to get paid to fool around with the likes of Katherine Heigl, Hilary Swank, and Jodie Foster (okay, so maybe not the last two), but that's like Michael Jordan playing baseball because it paid, and it made him happy as an athlete. Oh wait.....

...but this is.

Your attempts at badassery as of late have been halfhearted, at best. It's not your fault- the movie plotlines were weak. Gamer, Law Abiding Citizen, and The Bounty Hunter weren't great. They were tolerable, but not great.

Gerard Butler, 300 has given you lifetime posession of your man card. None of your movies will ever surpass your role as King Leonidas, so what you need to do is either beg for a 300 prequel, pray that it gets a cartoon iteration with you voicing the mighty King, or start doing chick flicks with hotter, single, young women. Since it's you, they don't even have to be single! You could do to some hot girl's relationship what Angelina did to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's relationship when she did Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Get on it, sir. Time is running out.