Ladies and gentlemen, pandemonium has come about America that has not been seen since the Beatles made their way across the pond. That can mean only one thing.

The McRib has returned.

For about a month each year, the McRib re-graces the menu at McDonald's. The sandwich started as a Midwestern test item in the early 80s, only to go national and be discontinued in 1985. Currently, Germany is the only country that sells the McRib year round. It was brought back as a promotional item in 1994, but it turns out that diners craved the McRib. So McDonald's made it a yearly tradition. Thus, the legend of the McRib was born.

Let me make this clear: I have NEVER had a McRib. NEVER. But this year, I will experience the phenomenon. I'm actually really looking forward to it- I mean, people wouldn't flock to this sandwich like this if it wasn't good. In addition, none of my three roommates have had one so we're going to head to McDonald's before December 5th, which is TECHNICALLY the final day the sandwich is to be sold.

There's a reason why I say "technically." Some stores still have yet to sell off their whole supply by that date, so there are actually groups of people out there who turn into nomads, sniffing out the Mickey D's who sell after the end date. It's like following a rock band, or those people in post-apocalyptic movies who are desperately searching for food and rely on rumors alone to set their paths. Let's face it- the only other McDonald' sandwich that has gotten this much publicity is the McGriddle, and they sell that year round, so it's not as exclusive. But I bet you if they sold it in spurts like the McRib, the same thing would happen.

Let me just say that the marketing is genius by McDonald's. They're taking an item that would undoubtedly sell well if sold year round, and giving it to people in spurts. they are holding the figurative "carrot on a stick" (although this is the farthest thing from a carrot) here, and they have it at exactly the right height. That, potentially, could have been risky. Another fast food joint could have offered a similar sandwich to fill the void left by the McRib, but nobody has stepped up to that plate. Also, for those of you who complain about why the sandwich is year round, consider this: Every restaurant would then have to increase storage capacity for the custom buns, McRibs, the special-cut onions, and the barbecue sauce- I'm pretty sure they don't have any other menu items that use those onions or a steady stream of barbecue sauce. That costs extra money (and possibly takes storage from better selling menu items), and if the McRib doesn't exceed its costs, then it's not smart to keep it on the menu. Having the McRib for a month requires a temporary shift in stock count, as well as no permanent changes to the menu or POS system.

So hit up the closest McDonald's by December 5th! Experience the revolution! Take part in the pandemonium! Immerse yourself in McRib Mania!

Dumbing Us Down in 30 Second Intervals

I am a proud man. I stand by my fellow man when he is wronged, and justice must be served. Now women do have a lot of double standards to work through, but there is one that they never mention: Women who bond against men are seen as strong, independent, and brave. Men who bond against women are seen as chauvinist pigs. I like women...a lot....but I'll risk looking like a chauvinist if it means standing up for what I feel is wrong. If you read my title, you may be able to infer what I'm going to go after here.

Yep, it's those damn TV commercials that make men look like complete idiots.

I'm sure some women will read this and day to themselves "But men are stupid!". Hold the phone. We may do some things that make us SEEM stupid, but we are far from it. Moreover, all women aren't that clever.

And these ads are EVERYWHERE. According to these ads, women are flawlessly outfoxing, manipulating, and outthinking their husbands, boyfriends, brothers, and potential suitors. Not only that, but where do they find the men for these commercials? Most of these guys are greasy, overweight, bumbling fools who probably are pretty dumb in real life. Not once have I seen a commercial where men turn the tables on women.

Sure, I understand that companies want to appeal to women, as they are more active consumers than men. But do we have to appeal to women at the expense of making our gender look like imbeciles? Does it take that level of coddling and compliment-fishing to make women choose one brand over another?

Here are some of my favorite examples- one DiGiorno pizza commercial has a wife questioning her husband about mud tracks on their carpet. He lies and says it was the pizza guy, but then she finds out at the end of the commercial that it was actually her husband, who left the DiGiorno box on the kitchen counter. Sure, he probably shouldn't have told the lie, but if I were going to do that, I would have destroyed the evidence first.

Another recent Sprint commercial that touts their new all-in-one unlimited 3G package starts with a guy and a girl sitting at a diner. She sends him a text right there saying she wants to break up. While she's overenthusiastic about it, he seems kinda dejected. To make matters worse, she rubs salt in his wounds by changing her Facebook relationship status, sending him an email, all with a grin on her face.  Then, to top it all off, she calls him WHILE SITTING RIGHT ACROSS FROM HIM. Not exactly subtle about the breakup, now is she? I've got a sinking feeling she'd been a cheating whore for the past couple of months anyways. That guy can do better.

There's another where the guy is tying a fan to his cat's tail to get a stagnant air freshener to spread a fragrance in their home. His wife then rolls her eyes, gives him a pitied look, and plugs in a Glade Air Freshener. I don't think any man would be dumb enough to try that, let alone be concerned about the fact that his house doesn't smell like fresh lilies.

Last, but not least, is a Domino's commercial. The husband says to his wife that the pizza will arrive in 30 minutes, comes out in a silk robe, and basically proposes a round of sex. She then says to him in a deadpan/cut-down (i.e. Leah Remini-like) way "Well, what are we gonna do with the other 28 minutes?". The only person to ever pull that line off and be funny was Mrs. Roper on Three's Company....God bless that woman.

Here's the way I see it....it's unhealthy to make new friends by making fun of old ones. Same applies here- I hate these commercials, and although they don't affect my decision making, they're not enjoyable. I'd like to laugh or be influenced to buy something when I see a commercial, and not have to go "man, that's fucked up" every 30 seconds.

I am Man, hear me roar.

Questions Will Become Answers

The NHL has gained a legitimate head of steam since the 2004-05 lockout season, but has really been charging over the past two years. High scoring games, great matchups, and other integral improvements have quickly transformed the NHL into a mainstream league. It's amazing to think that a league that lost $200 million nearly two decades ago just turned a $180 million profit this past season.

How can you not love the NHL? The games are exciting to watch, the fans are as raucous as the Raider Nation, there's excessive fighting, and awesome goal celebrations. Basically it offers all the things that the NFL does at a fraction of the price.

This past season, the NHL really gained notice with the influx of stars who played for their home countries in the Olympics. With 27.6 million viewers, the gold medal game between the US and Canada was the most watched hockey game in the US since the 1980 gold medal game at the Lake Placid Olympics, just two days after the United States defeated the Soviet Union in the "Miracle On Ice" game.

Another recent addition in the NHL is the Winter Classic. On New Year's Day, two teams play a regulation game outdoors. Of course, that limits the game to the Midwest, Northeast, and Canada, but the game not only draws some of the NHL's highest ratings each year, but they also sell out stadiums and baseball fields that seat more than 40000 people. I wanted to go to the 2009 game between the Red Wings and Blackhawks, but tickets cost upwards of $200...and that was all the way up top in the not-so nosebleeds.

The Friendly Confines hosted the 2009 Winter Classic, one of the highest rated games of the 2008-09 NHL season.

What all this sums up to is a league that is on the rise- a league that could be a serious challenger to the MLB and NBA, two leagues that are on a downward path (actually, the NBA may make up ground in the Miami Heat, but we'll see.)

Anyways, the NHL has a great new marketing campaign called Questions Will Become Answers. Each one features a player working out while radio commentators ask the questions that each team's fans have been asking in the offseason, with every ad concluding with the most biting question of the bunch and the words "Questions Will Become Answers".

The NHL is rolling out a team-specific ad for every club, but for now, there are 5 player-specific ads featuring Jonathan Toews (Blackhawks), Sidney Crosby (Penguins), Alexander Ovechkin (Capitals), Ryan Miller (Sabres), and  Mike Cammalleri (Canadiens). NHL's ad department did an AWESOME job with these ads, and I appreciate the fact that the players are all working out padless- it's a nice change from having them skating on a dark rink one on one against a goalie. Check out the ads below- if they don't make you want to go out and buy season tickets, nothing will.

What a Day...What a Place!

If you've been reading this blog, you've learned a lot about me thus far. Here's something else you may not know about me; I am a HUGE fan of jingles, especially those written in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I'm also a fan of theme parks. So it comes as no surprise that I am a big fan of Great America's commercials from the late 70s-mid 80s.

Business Bite: Six Flags Great America was once half of a twin set; back in 1976, Marriott, the hotel chain, decided to construct a theme park franchise, starting with three locations- Santa Clara California, Gurnee Illinois, and Washington DC. Santa Clara and Gurnee were built, but Washington D.C. was not.

By 1984, the Gurnee park had been sold to the Six Flags park chain, who still owns it to this day; the Santa Clara park went through messy negotiations with a proposed sale of the park to the city itself. It. was finally sold to Kings Entertainment, which would eventually be engulfed by Paramount Parks. Now, it is owned by Cedar Fair, the company who owns the famous Cedar Point theme park.

Enough history. Check out the videos, more so for the jingles, but the video as whole brings them together. This is pure 70s/80s cheese, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Commercials have gotten into such a habit of using music from established artists that it seems that the art of the jingle is lost on marketing execs nowadays. I still think that a well placed jingle beats out any Billboard 100 hit inserted in a commercial.

Can You Hear Me Now, Steve Jobs?

Well, it looks like it's finally happening. After 4 years of speculation as to what cell phone carrier would be the next to hit the iPhone jackpot, we finally have a winner. Verizon, often seen as the front runner in the iPhone sweepstakes, will be the newest carrier to sell the universally praised smartphone. Let's see what this means for other carriers:

First, let's take a look at the winner. Verizon, already seen as the best carrier as far as price and coverage, now gains a HUGE weapon in its already impressive arsenal. Carrying both the Motorola Droid and the iPhone will be the combination that puts Verizon ahead of AT&T in the cell phone wars.

For AT&T, this is a huge blow. For 4 years, they've had the iPhone contract to themselves, and now their biggest rival, and possibly the only company with potential to knock them off the top of the mountain, carries the phone. AT&T hasn't prepared well for this moment, either. Their Android selection is lacking, and they haven't put very much energy into the rest of their phone lineup. It's as if the iPhone made AT&T more complacent. Seriously, have you seen their other phones? They're kid/bumbling parent friendly, sure, but the small section of the business market that AT&T currently has gets smaller. It wasn't a smart move at all, especially considering that analysts have been speculating since day one about which company would get the mighty iPhone next. AT&T also has an abusive relationship with many of their customers. Although many want to leave due to AT&T's superglue-like contracts with high cancellation fees, spotty coverage, terrible customer service, and overpriced plans, many customers can't because that means they'd have to get rid of their prized iPhones. I originally thought this would mean that customers would be more apt to bite the cancellation fee in order to transfer networks while taking their iPhones with them, but differences in signal frequencies and how each company translates data means that switching to Verizon requires that you buy a brand new iPhone. I'll keep you posted on any changes.

What this change means for other two major carriers, T-Mobile, and Sprint, is that they need to stick to their guns and stick it hard. Sprint has been broadcasting their 4G network for the past 6 months; they need to stick with that angle until other carriers begin to dabble in 4G. T-Mobile, on the pother hand, has been listed by some analysts as the first of the big 4 cell phone companies to die. What they need to do is start advertising their wide array of smartphones. Whether it be Android-based, Garmin, Motorola, or their trusty Sidekick (which badly needs a revamp and low low price point for the social media savvy), they have the biggest smartphone selection of all of the major carriers as well as a VERY affordable, flexible price point; they need to make sure that swing customers know that.

Anyways, that's all. I'll keep following this story as it unfolds, and we'll see how the iPhone shakes up the cell phone world once again.

Serious Holes In The Gap

This past week, Gap unveiled a new logo to express their look toward the future. Needless to say, it's terrible. Take a look:

The blue box seems to have been put in the wash and shrunk in the process....like Gap Jeans.

This logo is, like I said, terrible. TER-RIB-LAY. Here's why. The font in this new logo is Helvetica, which has been voted both the easiest-to-read font as well as one of the most dull. It's uninspired, and the blue box in the corner makes it look like the ad agency hired a 13 year old to design it. Wait...13 year olds would be more creative than this. They would have been better going back to their original logo:

After seeing this new logo monstrosity, I then began to realize that this logo looked familiar....too familiar...it looked like another clothing store's logo which was just as uninspired and terrible as this one. After about 5 minutes of searching, I found it:

American Apparel's logo is just like Gap's.... except there's no blue square. Anybody looking in from the outside would assume that one company owned the other. I was then even angrier with Gap, because they got rid of a logo which which they were closely identified.

Brand identification is a tough thing to mess with; changing a familiar piece of a company's identity can turn its fans away, so the change must be subtle, gradual, and non-threatening. In 2009, Tropicana redesigned their orange juice cartons to look more modern, but the change didn't go over well at all. Think about that for a second; AN ORANGE. JUICE. CARTON. Not a logo, but the carton. People identify with what is safe and what is familiar.

When Drew Carey took over as host of The Price is Right in 2007, his first stayed true to Barker's well-oiled operation; other than a refresh of the theme songs and changing the colors of the set, everything from the models to the music cues stayed the same. Now in its 4th season, Barker's last season and Carey's 4th are like night and day; most of the Barker era music cues, as well as a few pricing games have been retired, with new ones taking their place. The show has lifted its Barker-mandated ban on foreign cars, they held a model search last season, and the show has traveled across the country to find contestants who normally couldn't afford the money or time to make it out to Los Angeles. Many of these changes were in the works once Drew took over, but were made gradually as to not lose their loyal fanbase. Ratings are starting to climb again, and The Price is Right is still a crown jewel in the CBS Daytime lineup.

Hey- people know what they want. All companies have to do is listen to the people.

EDIT: On October 11, Gap announced that they are going back to the familiar blue square logo after a massive public outcry. See what I mean?

I Wink, You Wink, We All Wink For uWink!

One thing that Nolan Bushnell seems to have always had is foresight. His biggest strength is that he's been able to use that foresight to anticipate what people want; thus, his founding of two (still active) forefathers  in their respective industries. So when Bushnell announced in 2005 that he was opening a new line of restaurants with a technology twist, I was instantly sold based off his track record.

Some of you who read this blog may not know who Nolan Bushnell is, and rightfully so; he hasn't made any HUGE splashes in the news lately. Let me fill you in. Nolan Bushnell is the co-founder and former CEO of Atari, one of the founding fathers of the video game industry. In 1977, while still at Atari, Bushnell bought Pizza Time Theatre from Warner Communications (although it had been created by Bushnell). He made the purchase so that Atari would have a place to showcase its best games, as well as its newest models not released anywhere else.

Pizza Time Theater would then go on to become Chuck E. Cheese, the father of the pizza arcade format.

uWink, the eventual name for the chain, was a great concept on paper. It was to have a fully interactuive touchscreen at each table, which acted as a menu where customers could place their orders, customizing them down to the last little detail. The orders, of course would be sent to the kitchen and delivered by attendants. When not in use as a menu, the touchscreen would be used to access a bunch of different games that the table could play while waiting for drinks and/or their food.

Now there's a twist here that makes the technology even cooler. If you wanted to buy a round of drinks for, oh, say, the cute girl and her cute friends at Table 12, you could do that through your screen, sending a note in the process. Same goes for playing games. You could strike up a Table Vs.Table game from your screen to get conversation going with another group of perfect strangers. If you were a techie who had problems talking to girls, this was your godsend. Your time to shine. Your mecca. Your mancave. You get the idea by now.

By the time uWink opened its first restaurant in October of 2006, Facebook had caught fire. People were already using technology to meet new people and strike up new conversations and relationships. This either could have been very good for uWink or a backbreaker out of the starting gate.

Out of the gate, it seemed that the company was getting great publicity and a strong showing in the profit column. They even opened two more restaurants in California, with plans to open franchises in Las Vegas, Canada, and Florida. Unfortunately, even Nolan Bushnell couldn't predict the financial meltdown that was to come in the United States. Well, maybe he did, and that's why the new franchises didn't open- I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Even with the recession, it seemed that the restaurant/technology concept was becoming a novelty; Facebook was the hands down king of people-connecting, and it seemed that Bushnell's ideas were antiquated. Bushnell's industries were all about really connecting two people who had never met each other, but were in the same room (i.e. a 4 player co-op video game or the uWink concept), but people seemed happier just connecting to others through the internet. Although Bushnell had a great concept, it seemed that it just may fail and it did; uWink closed all of their restaurants on September 13th.

But as one door closes, another opens; uWink is still selling their restaurant software under the name Tapcode, but they won't be opening any new restaurants. Although he'll be busy with the new venture, I fully believe that Nolan Bushnell is still thinking, stil contemplating, in the back of his mind, about what his next big move will be.

MBA Students, Unite!

So for the seven of you who already regularly follow my blog (without actually hitting the "follow" button), I've got great news! There will be more joining the ranks!

If you look to the "About Me" section, you'll see that some of my blog posts for this semester will be mandated by my Business 501 class, better known as Business Perspectives. Hopefully, by the end of the semester, there will be quite a few people following this blog. I've already followed a few of my loyal business school chums, and hopefully they will do the same for me.

Anyways, what that means is that you'll see a few more business related blog entries on this page. Not to worry, though; I'll do my best to keep them interesting and relevant to my twenty-something audience. Although you may see a few articles on Bear Stearns, Goldman Sachs, and the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, you'll still see business pieces on Starbucks, Best Buy, The Gap, and your favorite sports team (to hate).

So without futher ado, it's time to put away childish things...so I can pick up more childish things.

Best Buy: The Modern Day Mancave

So I got out of my Business Perspectives Class tonight and found myself dumbfounded. Two groups were assigned to make presentations addressing the lack of female customers in Best Buy, and what the company could do about it. There were a couple of good suggestions, such as adding a Internet cafe/coffeehouse corner to the store, and implementing some sort of computer tutorial classes in the same fashion as Apple does with the Genius Bar at their Apple Stores. However, some of the suggestions I heard were lacking. Some even made my blood boil a little. Basically, there were quite a few suggestions that turned Best Buy into NOT Best Buy.

Let's get this out of the way now before I receive a cavalcade of hate mail and a letter from Hillary Clinton; I am not a male chauvinist. However, I DO protect men where it matters, and I do strongly believe in the Bros Before Hoes Law (Check your Man Law Constitution, 2010 Edition, Article 22, Section a).

Here's the thing: when women drag their husbands, boyfriends, sons, and other significant males to the department stores, notice that these men don't exactly jump for joy when entering these stores. They know what's in store; a marathon-like afternoon where they get asked a bunch of menial questions concerning shoes, drapes, outfits, and other merchandise. They'll choose an item or make some other judgement by either mentally flipping a coin or by going all Newlywed Game on her and try to guess what she's thinking. As men in an uninteresting environment, we don't care, and all women sense that. She'll eventually go with her gut feeling, disregarding anything we may say, which, in the end, makes us useless shopping companions. That car space would have been put to better use with one of her girlfriends, and not us.

Best Buy, on the other end, is the ONE place where men can turn the tables. There's no other store in the country where such a sample of men can be found. Just as you'll only find professional men in suit stores, bikers at the Harley Davidson store, and stoners at the skate shop, Best Buy attracts all those men and more. Men of every age bracket, race, social status, marital status, and income level can be found at Best Buy. It is, as I like to refer to it, as the Public Mancave. This is the only place where you'll find men of all backgrounds HAPPILY shopping. Make changes to that, and you'll lose part of that loyal customer base.

The question we must ask first is this: Can Best Buy attract enough LOYAL female shoppers to offset the loyal male shoppers that they would lose with major changes to the store? The answer is no; Best Buy is the only public getaway for men of all ages. It's the one place where I knew my mother or girlfriend wouldn't follow me to, and I'd have free reign over my time and money.

There's still a bigger reason why Best Buy would be making a huge mistake in investing time and money into an attempt at balancing the gender ratio in their stores. Why? Because the change is slowly but surely happening already.

Over the past 10 years, there has been an organic shift in the way women view technology. More women are embracing technology than ever before; some even going as far as really digging into the specs the same way other women stare at the same pair of shoes for hours on end. Because of this change, more women are now apt to go to a place that's not only seen as an authority on technology, but also carries a large array of items. That eliminates the tech departments at Sears, Wal Mart, and Target.

If Best Buy really wants to dump money into balancing the gender ratio right now, the best way for them to do it is by renting out mall space; not necessarily renting something as big as an anchor space like Sears or Macy's, but a storefront about as big as a Gap or an Express. A few years back, Apple started opening Apple Stores in malls, and as far as I know, the change has been quite successful, especially in areas where a standalone Apple Store is not accessible. If Best Buy created a store where they only sold an array of smaller consumer electronics (phones, mp3 players, cameras), laptops, CDs, and DVDs, and video games, that could go a long way. Today's female techie won't necessarily buy a car stereo, but she will buy Season 1 of Glee on DVD and its accompanying soundtracks. Today's female techie won't spend $900 on a new TV, but she will go out right away and drop $175 on a new camera because she lost or broke her old one.



A promotional shot from a 2008 Best Buy Female Gamer Day.



I know there are female techies out there who WILL buy a quality car stereo, a $3000 TV and surround sound speakers to boot, but the majority of that EXTREMELY small population are already loyal Best Buy customers. They need to go after the ones aged 14-25, who don't have a lot of money but are willing to spend it on things that Best Buy already sells. Hit them where they hang out (the mall), and you'll blow the remnants of any remaining Sam Goody or FYE to oblivion.

For the time being, though, let us men keep our mancave. It's the last place we can drag women to make them feel as bored, useless, and infuriated as we do when we walk into a Macy's.