Nobody is above the law. NOBODY.

So a couple months ago, I went home for a random weekend, something I don't do often. My friend Ian is a football coach at Whitney Young, and their kickoff game was against St. Ignatius at Soldier Field. Seeing this as an opportunity to be at Soldier Field (I had never been) on the cheap, I decided to go home.

I drove downtown and had lunch with a friend, then had enough time to park near the Sports Authority- the downtown flagship always has a ton of brand name workout gear on clearance, so I checked it out. Not even 20 minutes later, I came back to my car, and a ticket was on the windshield- the No Parking Zone sign was bent and was nuzzled well into a nearby tree- there was no way for me to have seen it unless I was extremely aware.

Long story short, I protested the parking ticket and won. Here's how I did it, and how you can, too. My official protest letter and pictures are at the end.

1. Check the Online Pictures
Chicago cops are high tech, and with each parking ticket they write, they upload the offending picture(s) on the website for you to see. They normally take a picture of the sign and your plate number for the website-  the biggest mistake they can make is not taking a picture of your car in relation to the sign. Did they only take a picture of the close up sign and another of your plates? That's really not enough information to rule in the law's favor. If they can't make a correlation that proves that your car was the offending vehicle at the time of the ticket issuance, then you have a case.

2. Take Your Own Pictures
The biggest mistake you can make as someone who wants to appeal is not taking pictures, especially if you have a legitimate claim. Sometimes, as in my case, signs are obstructed by nearby trees or snow. Anything that could have been a reason for you not to clearly see that sign is a legitimate means of protest. If you don't have a legitimate camera phone, you should keep a disposable camera in your glove compartment at all times. Let me revise that- IF YOU OWN A CAR, KEEP A DISPOSABLE CAMERA IN YOUR GLOVE COMPARTMENT AT ALL TIMES. I don't care if your smartphone is 77 megapixels and takes 3D video....smartphone batteries, as you well know, die. Quickly. Just in case you get ticketed after a long night at the club and your phone is dead, keep the disposable camera in your compartment. You'll be glad you spent that $4.

Take two kinds of pictures- unbiased ones and ones that push your case a little more. You can throw those in there as leverage- don't embellish your story, but you can push a tad.

3. Be Specific.
Take note of all times, street names, and other little details that will make your case more sound. Note the street or intersection where you were ticketed. Note the time you left and returned to your car. Sometimes this information can help when you're analyzing it for your appeal, whether you write one for the mail or appear in court.

4. Use Logic
Your appeal should be treated like a court case. You need to convince someone of your side, and sometimes, pictures alone won't do it. Sometimes, you need to go all Law and Order on your appeal. Analyze your pictures. How do they prove your innocence? Take a look at the online pictures- how do they discount the writing of the ticket?

5. Be Respectful
Be honest in your description. If you have a legitimate gripe, state it and back it up through pictures and logic. More than anything, fact is God. Also keep in mind that snarkiness and an angry tone will only hurt your case. Yes, you're pissed. Yes, the law can sometimes bend the rules to write more tickets. Regardless of that, still be respectful- you are still dealing with cops. A nice add-on is stating at the end that you hope the sign will be fixed soon so nobody else has your issue.

I hope this helps someone not have to pay a ticket! If you have any questions, share in the comments section and hopefully I, or someone else, has an answer for you.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I received a parking ticket on Friday, June 26th on the grounds that I parked in a No Parking Zone. I am contesting the ticket on the grounds that the pole which denoted the Tow Zone was bent, and the flag was obstructed by a nearby tree. I have included photographs to plead my case.

At about 7:00 PM on August 26, I parked my car in the spot in question. I was in town to support a friend who was coaching in the High School Football Showcase at Soldier Field. The game wasn’t to start until 8, and since I had some time to waste, I parked my car and headed to the Sports Authority on LaSalle Street. I returned to my car by 7:20 PM, and saw the ticket in my windshield. A gentleman who worked at the paid parking lot on Franklin and Ohio informed me that he had seen my car get ticketed only a few minutes earlier; he informed me that I should take photos of the obstructed sign in order to appeal the ticket. I have included those photographs and descriptions of each below.

Photo #1 was taken from the sidewalk right next to where my car was parked, and from that angle, the sign is obstructed as well.

Photo #2 was taken as a close up, but considering the orientation of the cars on that side of the street, the only person who would have seen the sign would have been someone in the passenger’s seat; I was the only person in my car that day.

Photo #3 is the angle that I would have seen as I pulled up to park my car in this space. As my car is a hard top and not a drop-top, the only angle that would have been able to properly expose the sign was obstructed, and even still, the sign was still blocked by the shrubbery.

I hope you can see from my photos that the sign is blocked- I hope that the proper authorities are able to fix this sign soon as to eliminate any confusion about it. I thank you for your time and patience.

-Jeremy Nelson 

Photo # 1

Photo #2 

Photo #3

UPDATE: My ticket was thrown out. Score one for the little guy!

Black Ranger Pride

So I was the Black Power Ranger for Halloween this year, and as always, it was a last minute, half baked costume. Normally I come up with this elaborate, awesome idea for a costume each year that I'm so convinced I'll put all of my time and energy into. This year, I was going to be the Shuffle Bot from the LMFAO music videos, complete with cardboard box helmet, gold track suit, and accompanying chain. Then I convinced myself that I could do without the chains....then the gold track suit became a black track jacket and jeans...and the cardboard helmet became a brown paper bag. I totally failed on an idea that I spent two months talking about. Now I had no costume.

Then I saw a Black Ranger t-shirt at Hot Topic that I was convinced I needed. Light bulb on. Hallelujah. Unfortunately, the store only sold pink and red ranger masks. Since they were on clearance anyway, I decided to pick one up and make it a black ranger mask with some magic marker magic. Halfway through, the mask looked pretty badass the way it was already colored.

What do you guys think? Should I have kept the mask the way it was, or was I right in coloring the whole thing black?

Saints and Sinners...But Mostly Sinners

This story was so good that I had to come back and write about it immediately.

So Sam is going to be a priest this year for Halloween. I think it's going to be funny, but up until now, there's been one problem: Sam doesn't have a priest collar. So we went out to the mall, and what did we find? Nothing. Hot Topic? Nope. Spencer's? Nada. Halloween Store? Zip. In the end, he just decided that he'd make one from construction paper, and since we already had to go to Target to get him a bible (to hide his flask in), we'd just go there.

Right next to the Target is a Family Christian Store, and lo and behold- they have a sign on the door saying Select Bibles- 50% off. Score.

However, it's Family Christian Stores, and that means they have a bevy of bibles. They have bibles for just about every demographic you can hit- old people, young people, women, teenage boys, Hispanics....you get the point. But it turned out that the only bibles on sale were the ones that started at like $75. Why anyone needs a $75 bible, let alone a $150 bible, is beyond me. But I'm getting away from the point here.

I walk up to the front of the store and find a clerk- a middle aged, heavyset woman- and I ask her for a bible. Then Sam chimes in, and hilarity ensues.

The clerk asks Sam what kind of bible he was looking for, and in his most serious voice, Sam says, "I'm thinking the King James Version would be best." My laughter is already building up. I can tell that this is going to end well.

So the clerk decides that it's her duty to stick with us through the whole process- I don't think she was going to let us leave the store without buying something.

Clerk: Is this bible for a new believer?
Sam: Nope.
Clerk: Well, I think the King James Version would be kind of hard for them to understand.
Sam: Well, he's a traditionalist.

How Sam is making it through this with a straight face is beyond me.The clerk finally leaves us alone after five minutes or so, and then Sam then carries his indifference to the cash register. The cashier was this older guy who looked like he was a no-nonsense Christian, and Sam wasn't having any of this guy's peddling.

Cashier: Do you have one of our Perks Cards?
Sam: No.
Cashier: Would you like to sign-
Sam: No.
Cashier: (in a sorta "you hurt my feelings" way) Well, it doesn't cost anything...you build up points...
Sam: Nah, I'm good.
Cashier: Well, do you attend an eligible church in the area that would receive-
Sam: Umm...no.

At this point, there are a few things that are making my laughter hard to contain. One, the way Sam is holding it together and treating the situation this seriously. Two, the fact that these people don't know that this bible is definitely not going to be used for Christian purposes. Three, the fact that we could have gotten a bible anywhere for a Halloween costume, and we get it from a Christian bookstore. If we get to the pearly gates and we're on the tipping point between going to heaven and going to hell, this might be the tipping point to hell.

We have the bible. Sam is going to get construction paper from Target to make his collar. Everything is good. But part of me wants to know if they sell collars without tipping them off that this is for a Halloween costume. So I have to say something and push this situation a little further towards dealing with a couple of pissed off Christians.

Me: So I've always wanted to know this, and maybe you could help me...where do priests buy their collars?
Cashier: Well, we do pre-orders for priests in the area, and there's a store over on 4th and Monroe.

At this point, the cashier is starting to get this tone of skepticism in his voice. If he doesn't know what's up, he's starting to at least wonder. Rather than push it, I let Sam buy the bible, and leave this situation a winner.

By the way, as Sam starts carving this bible up to make room for his flask, our roommate Li comes downstairs, as he's about to leave for bible study. He sees Sam and says "NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO THE BIBLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He has a good laugh with Sam and I, and leaves.

Well, at least we didn't have to deal with the crazy Christians.

I Want My Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back....

I totally forgot that I had a slab of ribs in my freezer that I intended to barbecue over the summer. Well, today was the day. By the way, why do people call them baby back ribs? It seems like it would be less appetizing with the word "baby" in them. After all, we don't call scrambled eggs "unborn chick fetuses", and we don't call veal "baby cow cutlets". i guess if you keep the name of the slaughtered animal out of the dish's name, then it's okay.

Anyhoo, I started by making a glaze for the ribs. Rather than search for a recipe online, I decided to take a bunch of items that were in my kitchen and make my own rub. This is a list of the items I used:

Sea Salt

Red Pepper Flakes

Black Pepper

Brown Sugar

A1 Steak Sauce

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Famous Dave's Rib Rub

The glaze looked pretty gross and had a consistency somewhere in between oatmeal and cement. It was delicious.

I applied the glaze generously to both sides of the slab; some of it came off and fell in the pan, but I just added a little water to the dish to help it possibly cook into the underside of the ribs and apply a little moisture for the oven in the process.

Of course, the second I was about to cover the pan, I realize we're out of aluminum foil, as reference by the bed that the baby back ribs now had. I had to get to class in 20 minutes, so going to Wal Mart to pick some up really wasn't an option. So what to do? Why, use a cupcake pan, of course!

Wrapping the baby in a tinfoil blanket until it's tender and edible.

Into the crib you go!

Two and a half hours later, these beauties were ready to come out of the oven and be basted. My will shall be done.

I'm still pretty bad at plating items; they tasted really good, but even a professional photographer couldn't save my butchering of these ribs. They fell off the bone, so it really wasn't my fault when I was cutting them. But then again, I cooked them, so I was responsible for the meat falling off the bone. But then again, I could just blame the butcher for selling...oh, forget it. It was my fault. I need to learn to plate food better. Period.

Anyways, the ribs were amazing, and I kinda wish I had written the quantities of ingredients for the glaze so I could use it again. They were a little spicy due to my overuse of red pepper, but tasty nonetheless. What are your best rib tactics? Any questions for me? Well, hit up the comments section below, and I will get to you as soon as I can! Later days!

Gnothi Seauton

Some of the best advice I have ever received from a teacher was during my first year at Hotchkiss. "Gnothi Seauton!", Mr Delprete proclaimed to my Ancient History Class during our first meeting. It was advice that would stick with me, even to this day.

Mr. Delprete, or "Delly", as he was so affectionately nicknamed, was the athletic director and former head football coach at Hotchkiss. But since every teacher at our school wore many different hats, Delly ended up becoming our freshman History teacher that semester. Our class dean, Mr. Barker would take over the following semester, but Delly made his mark on our class- specifically me.

This is the kind of guy I didn't expect to teach history- or at the very least, teach it well. After all, he was the athletic director, and if most high schools are any indication of what to expect, Delly should have been an arrogant prick who couldnt give a damn about Caligula or Caesar or Charlemagne. But he did, and the first week of class, he made his mantra for the semester well known- Gnothi Seauton!

Gnothi Seauton, as the Greeks say, means Know Thyself. It's a mantra that calls for constant self examination, adaptation, and execution. As you grow up, figuring out who you are and what you stand for is like trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube- a few select people can do it very easily, but for most, it's a constant struggle that usually ends with you figuring out by some stroke of dumb luck. It's easy to forget who you are because it can change so quickly, so knowing yourself keeps you grounded and self aware- virtues that can be difficult to practice at times.

I should know better than most- I've been a geek, a spazz, a respected nerd, a self respecting nerd (not the same), a somewhat cool guy, and that's just the surface- the amount of self examination and adaptation that I've had to have has been pretty substantial. I can't stay that it's always been easy, but it's helped me become who I am today.

So take a few minutes in your spare time to Gnothi Seauton- your future depends on it!

Pancakes No More

Well, as you may see from the title, the pancakes in the blog's title have been retired. Anything I do on this blog has a thoughtful reason, and this change is no exception. I have always been a breakfast guy- I am one of those people that advocates cooking breakfast food for dinner. Hell, I had a breakfast dinner twice last week. But at this point in my life, cooking gives me this cathartic release- it's something I know I do well, and breakfast is not a meal where I get too adventurous.

Now baking- that's where my stress goes away. Making something really good and cheap that I can share with my friends is a great feeling for me. No matter what's going on in my life, baking will make my problems disappear in the meantime. Cupcakes are at the top of my list of things to bake, and as you've seen from the last few weeks, it's something I love to make. Now everybody wants birthday cupcakes and the like. I kinda feel like that episode of Arthur when he keeps asking his dad to make cakes for school functions so that Arthur can be popular.

Anyhoo, it's a lot of fun for me, and I genuinely feel at home when making cupcakes. So the blog's name has changed...for now.

Coffee Cup Champagne and Birthday Cupcakes

Last night was Homecoming Night, and guess what that means? Classy Wine Night! Classy Wine Night, or CWN, is a concept that my neighbor Michael Watson came up with. In a nutshell, all of us dress up very nicely and drink copious amounts of liquor- preferably wine. Since I'm not a wine person, I drank champagne (hey, it IS sparkling WINE). The best part about the night is that we top load the liquor, so we're pretty wasted for the majority of the night.

Michael Watson- Godfather of Classy Wine Night

Last year, we had a problem- the party spilled over into our house, but two guys fought and broke the upstairs bathroom door. Not a good first impression, I'd have to say. But we've learned from our mistakes, and this time around was bound to be better!

Oh, wait- my roommate Li was scheduled to have a birthday party on the same night! So what did I end up with? A Classy Wine Night Birthday Party! So I got double duty when it came to drinking and partying, and I feel that I shouldered the load quite well. All in all, the entire night was awesome- I didn't have champagne flutes, so I drank all of my liquor out of my trusty red coffee mug. I also taught Li's friends how to shotgun beer, and they taught me various Chinese curses. Funny thing- apparently Chinese people really don't have swear words- they just insult people in the same way that you would if you couldn't swear. Anyways, enough from me- the pictures tell the story better than I could. Check the pics and captions below!

My roommate Li blowing out the candles- 27 birthday cupcakes for the 27 year old!

Li's friends were plenty- and they all drank. Can't argue with that.

Li top loaded his liquor too. He was about ready to pass out when we pulled the cattle prod on him.

As you can see, he recovered nicely.

The Godfather, with the guy who broke our bathroom door at the last CWN in the background.

Only one of the people in this pic is old enough to participate in CWN...I wonder who....

Meagan (left) and Maithili (right) think we're all friends. I guess this picture solidifies it.

Aftermath- the next morning, our place was just about trashed.

All in all, it was a great night, and I definitely can't wait for CWN 3, which is going down this spring. Since it will be the last time we all will be together, it's bound to be a hot mess. Check back soon for more madness!

How Much Is "Enough"?

A girl I've known for a while and I liked seemingly started a relationship with someone else recently. It stings a little more every time. Regardless of the constant "you are a great guy...any girl would be lucky to have you" spiels, that "any girl" who'd be lucky to have me still hasn't show up-  I am never good enough for anybody.

When does that "lucky girl" show up? Probably when I least expect it. Probably when I stop keeping my eyes peeled altogether. I'm not even looking for a serious relationship- but I gotta start somewhere.

As  much as I'd like to say "screw this", and just forget about it, I can't. My conscience rings out clearer, yet more obscure than ever. I honestly don't know what to do except live my life and wait.

Until the day we meet, later days.

No Replacements Found

So I found out last night during my accounting class that Steve Jobs died. That really sucks- I'm sure Apple's stock took a hit right after it happened. Steve was a guy who believed in innovation- making the human experience as magical and as user friendly as possible, even if it meant failure. Jobs had his fair share of failures when with Apple, but when he gets it right, he sure does hit it out of the park. After all, I'm writing this post on a used Macbook Air that I bought recently. My last laptop, an HP, has a lot more computing power, and Windows 7 is a great OS. But it's got to be a testament to the way Steve endorsed his products that almost all of my personal technology- my laptop, my tablet, and my mp3 player- come from Cupertino by way of China. Not giving up my Windows Phone anytime soon, Apple. sorry.

But even without me, there's still a whole army of iPhone users who claim that it's the best thing since sliced bread. Hardcore Android users passionately dispute that fact, but that's what it is- a fact. The customer is always right, and if you don't believe the iPhone is the best thing since sliced bread, just look at the sales numbers. Look at the number of apps people are buying on a daily basis. It all has to mean something, and considering where Apple was 10 years ago, Steve Jobs has done an unparalleled....job....with the company he founded, was forced out of, and then asked to join back.

We probably could have foreseen Jobs' health problems accumulate- after all, the he had been looking quite gaunt in the last few Apple keynotes, and was rumored to not even be healthy enough to be at his final keynote that introduced iOS 5 to the world. Tim Cook was named CEO just six weeks before Jobs' death, but nobody believed that it would happen this soon. This suddenly. This unexpectedly.

Normally with cancer patients, you can see the deterioration happen right before your eyes. The patient becomes bedridden, they have a thousand different meds pumping through their bodies, and the doctor can give a time frame of days- maybe even hours- before the patient is going to die. Was Jobs putting on a happy face for all of us this time? Did he know that this was coming? I'd have to assume so- it's not like he didn't have the money to go through with any necessary surgeries to stop the cancer. But he still showed up to work, still gave his keynotes as if nothing had ever happened to him. Jobs, up until the day he passed, chose to think different. There aren't too many people who I consider have lived their lives fully by what they have taught, but I hold him in that regard.

Look what his products have allowed to happen- autistic children and grandparents alike use the iPad to improve their brain activity. Some consider OSX to be the most user friendly operating system on the market today. The iPod changed the music industry entirely. And we don't even need to start on the impact of the iPhone on the smartphone market.

Godspeed, Steve. I don't ever think you will fully realize what a difference you've made in our world today.

Kindle Fire to Burn iPad? 3 Reasons it Will, 3 Reasons it Won't

Okay, so this new Kindle seems pretty awesome. Not iPad awesome, but definitely good enough to cut into Apple's market share. I'm not sure if Jeff Bezos and company are ready to take on Goliath- they may only be trying to create a new genre, as the iPad did when it was released. Well, here are three reasons why Amazon will do some serious damage in the tablet market and three reasons why they won't.

Why It Will Do Well:

1- Price
The first thing I noticed about the Kindle was its svelte price- $199 for a tablet is unheard of, and although companies haven't started to seriously undercut each other to cut into Apple's market share, Amazon may put some tablet makers out of the game with this price point. Plus, it helps that if your kid spills juice on it, or you leave it on the counter somewhere, you're only out of $200, not $500 minimum.

2- Familiarity
Millions of people already own Amazon Kindles and are happy with them, so for Amazon users, this is a natural step up. Sure, they can activate a kindle app on other devices, but more than likely, if they're happy with the Kindle, my guess is that they'll stick with the Kindle Fire. The device is still small and thin, so they get to keep the form factor, even with the overhaul

3- Doesn't Do Much
Some people just like simple. My mom wouldn't be able to use an iPad because she wouldn't understand how to work half the apps and gestures on it. She would need something simple to read books, check the internet, and keep up with her email. The Kindle Fire is perfect for her.

Why It Won't Do Well:

1- iPad Has Familiarity, Too
Amazon's Kindle is cool, but the iPad is getting to a point where the name is becoming a general term for all products like it- take Kleenex, Q Tips, or yes, even the iPod as examples. The iPad has just about become the end-all be-all in tablets.

2- Not Very Many Apps
For some, the Kindle Fire not being able to do much is a good thing. For most, however, it is a bad thing. People want to buy a tablet and download a bunch of apps for it. If Amazon can't support a large app library, they may not thrive.

3- No 3G Option
I thought this would be an obvious addition to the Kindle Fire, but apparently I'm wrong. With a device this compact, 3G would be an obvious shoe in as I see it.

At this point, I don't even think the Fire is competing with the iPad- the only area where it seriously competes is price, and even still, it offers an entirely different set of attributes. I'll be interested to see what comes of this.