"It's Not You, It's BS"

There is a lot if debate as to the worst pickup line in history, but the worst breakup line in history is pretty obvious.

"It's not you. It's me."

Seriously, whoever invented this line is probably owed by millions- no, billions of people for their inventiveness in coming up with the ultimate one liner that leads straight to a relationship's back door. Just give em a shrine where people can kneel and sing the praise "Thank you kind sir/madam for providing me with a way out of my relationship without actually forcing me to confront the other person with the true lingering problem(s) in our relationship."

But hey, let's be fair here. I mean, what if the breakup initiator Is telling the truth? What if, for once, it really was them and not you? Well, let's analyze the line from the initiator's standpoint:

"I have problems. But I'm not going to make you deal with my problems anymore. You shouldn't have to, although you've made it quite clear that you're willing to see past my problems to strengthen our relationship. Not only am I not going to let you deal with this anymore, I'm not even going to let you have this decision. I am keeping you from what will turn into a shitty relationship down the road because I'm just that nice. Seriously, I'm stepping on a huge grenade for you here."

Sounds like a load of crap to me. In all actuality, this line does nothing for each party except give them a false sense of security. A little more honestly means that the person getting broken up with now knows what they need to work on, especially if the problem generally makes them undateable.

Sure, I'm writing this column at a time when I'm a little more biased- after all, I have been hit with this line before (not exactly, but it was cloaked under a different set of words). I didn't think I did anything wrong, but maybe there's something that I have failed to see here that she could have brought to my attention. Still, being hit with a line like that, as genuine as someone may make it seem, still makes you wonder if there was a bigger issue at hand here.

Seriously, retire the line from your dating dictionary- if not for me, then for the good of the single people community.


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