So...it's like Dungeons and Dragons?

Ryan: Dave, yo ass ain't gonna win a game with all those running backs!
Dave: Just wait and see.
Me: Dave, yo ass ain't gonna win the whole thing anyway.

Welcome to Draft Day of our Fantasy Football League. This is my first year playing, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Let's get this straight; I made fun of guys who played Fantasy Football. A lot. I loved using this joke that I had heard a few years back In a comedian competition:

"Isn't Fantasy Football Dungeons and Dragons for the people who made fun of people who played Dungeons and Dragons?"

That was my perception of it for the longest time. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever...until I tried it myself.

Fantasy Football, in a nutshell, is like this: You are the owner/coach of your very own football team, made up of teams in a league you create with friends, family, and/or passing acquaintances. Before the start of the the NFL season, your league has a draft made up of every NFL offensive player, plus each defense/special team as a collective unit. You draft players and defenses, who then gain or lose points based off their real-life performances each week. You have more players than slots on your game day roster, so you can rearrange your lineup weekly, as well as make trades, cut players, and sign free agents. Each week, your roster plays against another's with whoever gaining the most Fantasy Points picking up the W.

So much for a nutshell.

Anyways, I've been hooked. My cousin Ryan invited me to play in his league, and I'm sitting here on a Sunday, watching my Springfield Skyhawks, led by Peyton Manning, taking on Team Grabowski, who is currently nursing a 5 point lead. All I need is for Manning to have a superb day, and I improve to 1-1. The week prior, my team had the third highest point total, but sadly was matched up against the highest scoring team that week.

Fantasy Football is not an obsession of mine, but I can see how this turns players into obsessive, hardcore league owners. Football, like soccer in Europe, is a very loyal sport. People stick with one team for their whole lives in many cases, although the only football team that has even come close to a European level of hooliganism is the Oakland Raiders. Fantasy Football gives its players a more invested interest in the league, not just their team. I'd actually recommend that women who want to impress their men with football stats join a league and keep up with it regularly.

Even better, it allows you to root for your Fantasy team without actually rooting for a real NFL team to do well. I'm a lifelong Chicago Bears fan, and I want them to win, regardless of my FFL numbers, but I do want other players to perform well. I don't care whether the Colts win or lose, but I do care when Peyton Manning puts up 300 yards and 4 touchdowns. After all, he's my main QB. Brett Favre is my backup (imagine that!).

Winning an losing is so important that people spend hours during the week rearranging their lineups, downloading FFL podcasts, and proposing mammoth trades. I am slowly, but surely, becoming one of these people. I noticed myself spending an hour signing free agents and playing around with my starting lineup. Thank God this only lasts for 10 weeks and a playoffs!

Anyways, Peyton Manning put forth a valiant effort, nailing me 22 points, but no luck. Team Grabowski still ended up beating me by 3 points. I am now 0-2. If I'm going to make the playoffs, I need to put more work into this team!

Now about those Fantasy Baseball assholes...